Career and family: who will win the battle?

I just don't know where to start. But I will start somehow. This day is perhaps one day of many days that will be in my diary...boss got mad at me for leaving the office. I guess I kinda brought it down onto myself. I've been taking for granted that its okay for me to go on leave as I want (as practiced by my previous company). All these while it was okay for me to take emergency leaves if ever I needed to go off on a spur of the moment. To me, the definition of ELs is unplanned leave, a leave that was not applied for, prior taking the said leave. But in this case, the boss's definition is different, where, emergency to him means, death in the family or somewhere along the line.

So okay. Yesterday I did not even thought of going on leave, but I changed my mind last night. I wanted to spend time with my family. So this morning I came to work, thinking that I shud at least say to boss that Im taking leave. Unfortunately, he was not there. So after this meeting with my vendor, I took off and smsed my boss, since he was in another meeting.

Lo and behold, he called me and from the tone of his voice, he was pissed. He kept on saying I shouldn't do this, and don't do this to him. I was surprised and caught of guard and all I said was sorry. And then later on my colleague called and said he sent an angry letter to all, saying that he doesn't like surprises, and giving examples of leaves and things that shud not be done etc by the others. And nuff said that certain words where in bold and in red font. I was dumbfounded. Ok...I did something major today and Im in a shit hole...the question is, how do I dig myself out?
Enuff on that, my dear husband dropped a bomb shell on me. He is changing jobs again. Without consulting me. To a previous company which did not pay him his last 2 months worth of pay. And, get this, the guy said that he can only sustain my hubby up to 1 year. OMG...what on earth is this guy thinking???? Just now, a friend just shared with me the status of this company and sort of advised me to get my hubby out of the way...and here today, my worst nightmare happened.

So the late nights will start all over again. The difference this time, Ive got 2 kids to handle. Alone. Enough with the miserable time Im having in the office. Now I have to face more hurdles in my family, well, more than usual that is. All in one day.

I asked him what is wrong with the company that he is working with. He mentioned that he is going crazy with the management and could not tolerate it anymore. To which I replied, oh, geez...my work is not all daisies and roses either but you don't see me quitting my job every 2 years for another job, that might or might not stick. After all, he is supposed to be the backbone of this family. My security net.

Instead of that, I feel as if our roles are reversed. Plus, he gets to go out and enjoy with his friends every now and then...go jamming, go hang out, or whatever. Me? Im stuck at home with the kids. Even if hes at home, he'll be in front of the PC doing god knows what, with me, again, playing and controlling the kids. Sigh, even when I went out for a facial last month and leaving him with the kids, he had to call and sms at least every 20 minutes...so much for relaxing huh? UUURrrrggggggg!!!!!

Somehow this is just not the life that I imagined myself having earlier on. OMG...give me strength...what do I do?

Post Festivals

Yeah, am back from the hols...tired like mad!! One whole week with the kids can be a little bit tiring and I can' help but joyfully welcoming monday and going back to work. Call me crazy but at least at work I can have a break now and then. With the kids, the moment I were to sit back and relax, they would somehow or another get into mischief. Even when they are sleeping I cant really relax as there are tons of housework to be done..which reminds me that I have yet to unpack and the room looks as if a typhoon has come and gone...or rather still lingering around??? :P

Raya has come and gone (well, at least the ones that warrant national holidays) and I am still eating cookies and what have yous...how la to loose weight like this. Anyone who knows me would know i looooove to do two things: eating and shopping!!

I've done so much shopping lately i donno how I'm gonna pay off my debts (although I managed to somehow 'hide' my credit cards now). It's like the shops are beckoning me to them with whispers, or rather cries (rather similar to children's cries of hunger!!) to BUY! BUY! BUY!...shopoholic I am.

I guess that's why I relate sooo well with the shopoholic series by Kinsella. Although I do not make excuses of not paying my bills or actually hide the bills as if they do not exist la...but I do hide them from hubby..:P. I think he'll faint if he were to see my total of debt!!!

Food is another weakness of mine. Junk food to be exact. I can't seem to stop munching!! I have this craze for Lay's Salt and Vinegar now...and gimme cashewnuts and macadamia nuts anytime! Man, all these talking bout food makes me wanna search for something sweet to munch on...

Okay, I'm deviating...coming back to post festivals, going back home is like going back to my roots...filled with dirt..:P...this is the time to be updated of who is doing what in the family and boy did I get my fill of that! One cousin got pregnant after 4 years trying, another cousin got beaten up by the husband, yet another cousin married a second wife and having 100% support by my aunt no less (as usual, blood is always thicker than water and in this case, according to this cousin, the wife did not treat him like what a wife should in terms of support, housework, responsibility, bla, bla bla...) Mom was so pissed about this as she believes (as do I) that there are 2 sides of the story. Well, anyway, other than that, an aunt accepted a family into her home as tenants for RM40 (its an old kampung house) but was robbed blind out of her food stuff...oh by the way, this aunt is not correct 'upstairs'. My uncle is finally coming to visit from the US for about a month. Another aunt is officially without a maid as she did not renew the previous maid's contract (although I must admit that she is damn good for the whole family, taking care of my grandma and my 3 year old cousin), leaving my mom spending majority of her day time over at my grandma's place while my aunt goes to school and teach. Oh dear...thsi is really airing dirty laundry huh? (which reminds me to do my laundry later on!!!)

Sigh...my life is sad at this moment, where only shops and food are the main thing in my mind now (I'll bet some shrink would interpret this another way huh?) OK I think it's back to work now...back to planning and all that crap...:P

Pre Festival Mode

There's a lot to be said when holidays are knocking at your door...you see people all around you slacking off, and doing things they shouldn't be doing (like what I'm doing now!). All around me I see people walking around with extra bounce in their steps, looking forward to the the long holidays where they can go visit their families and relatives and practically stuffing themselves with those delicious ketupat and lemang and not to mention the various cookies. I know coz Im gonna do exactly that!
This year would be extra fun as I get to celebrate the Hari Raya with 2 kids! And my life long dream of dressing up in the same colour as my kids and hubby has finally come true...:)...funny but true!

This year its my turn to balik kampung, or back to my hometown. Last year we celebrated in KL for the first 2 days and went back to Ipoh on the 3rd day, when all the laksa is nearly gone and the special delicasies like the yam cake and the super springy dodol is totally gone. Sigh...

This is Kamil's 3rd raya and Ilyas' 1st, so it's kinda fun to see how Kamil reacts this time. He had a ball during his 2nd birthday with all those presents that he cud not stop singing happy birthday to himself for weeks! Now that he knows what money can do, I wonder how he will react when receiving those little green packets (duit raya)...

Oh well, holiday shopping is over for me, with the exception of a few cookies here and there to bring back. 4 more hours to go today and tomorrow another 8 hours in the office and off I go...yeeeeahhoooo